


Your Love is My Turning Page

by chechie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adashi is beautiful, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, I don't really know - Freeform, I wrote this at like 2 a.m. I'm sorry, M/M, Season 7 is going to murder my soul, Shiro is gay and I'm crying, i don't know how to tag, i'm so emotional right now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 04:57:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15405471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chechie/pseuds/chechie
Summary: "The weeks passed in a monochrome of black and gray. Once upon a time, the world was painted with the lovely color of Takashi’s ocean-deep eyes, the lyrical sound of his twinkling laugh, the bright shine of that beautiful smile. But now, without Shiro, everything around Adam seemed to have lost its color, lost its voice, lost its meaning."Basically an angsty Adashi/Shadam fanfiction because I have no self-control. I'm not even sorry.





	Your Love is My Turning Page

**Author's Note:**

> Wow ok so this was written before season seven and now I'm pissed lmao. uhhh shajsjsjsj I might take this down later because i wrote this at 2 am and regret posting it bc it's really shitty but idk enjoy I guess
> 
> also fuck voltron :)

It was raining on the day that Adam received the news. The sky outside his window was ashy gray, and dusty clouds mingled overhead, dismal and bleak. He’d been lying in bed, going over details for an assignment, when he heard a knock at his door. It was a hesitant sort of sound, gentle and quiet, as if the visitor wasn’t quite sure if they wanted the inhabitant to be home at all. When he opened it, he found himself face-to-face with Commander Iverson, the head of the Garrison. The man’s expression was reluctant, almost pained, and even the on Iverson’s face was enough to make Adam uneasy.

 

“May I help you?” Adam asked hesitantly, before adding on a hasty “Sir.”

 

Iverson was quiet for a moment, contemplating, before sighing and stepping into the doorway. “You may, uh. You might want to sit down first.”

 

Adam’s heart rate was increasing now, pounding in his chest. Was he getting kicked out or something? He compiled a panicked list in his head of all the possible things he had done wrong to warrant expulsion.

 

He and Iverson moved to the seating area in the center of the room. Adam lowered himself onto the orange couch, and the commander took the seat across from him. Iverson leaned forward a bit, bracing his elbows on his knees. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there’s something you should know.”

 

Adam knit his brows, worry coursing through his veins. His hands felt cold and clammy, and he drummed his fingers nervously on his knees.

 

Iverson cleared his throat before continuing. “We have recently received some news about the Kerberos mission. Unfortunately, there was… an accident.”

 

Adam’s eyes widened, his heart pounding in his chest. Dread spread throughout his body, tangible and all-consuming. _Shiro_. “What do you mean, ‘an accident’?” He demanded, worry outweighing any politeness he may have had. “Tell me what happened.”

 

The commander took a deep breath, his voice lowering slightly as he continued. “There was a malfunction. A pilot error.”

 

 _No._ That couldn’t be right. Shiro was the best pilot at the Garrison; there was no way anything could have happened under his watch. But Iverson’s face said otherwise. He wouldn’t make a big deal about it, unless…

 

Adam squeezed his eyes shut. He felt sick.

 

His voice was barely a whisper when he said, “Did he survive?”

 

With the slightest possible shake of his head, Iverson said, “I’m sorry.”

 

The world tilted, and a surge of nausea hit him with all the force of a tidal wave. His mind couldn’t fully process what was being said. When it finally hit him, he felt overcome. Grief, all-consuming, enveloped him. He’d always assumed that pain was a bit like a hurricane – sudden, encompassing, agonizing. That was not the case. Instead, he felt numb. It was as if someone had sucked all the feeling out of his body and left him cold, empty, a shell of what he once was. He was barely aware of Iverson patting him on the shoulder in a pathetic attempt of sympathy and leaving him alone in his room. Slowly, he sank to the floor, holding his head in his hands in a desperate attempt to keep himself from falling apart.

 

Then, as if waking up from a dream, the reality of it shot through him like an oncoming train. Great, hiccuping sobs wracked his body, and he had the faint sensation he was drowning.

 

_Shiro is gone._

 

Tears streamed down his face, falling onto the carpet below and blurring his vision. Good. It wasn’t like he wanted to see the world, anyway – not without Shiro in it.

 

_Shiro is gone._

 

He should have told him he loved him one last time. Should have never taken their time together for granted. Should have done anything besides simply watch as the love of his life walked away forever. His words, now said ages ago, wound their way into his mind. _If you decide to go, don’t expect me to be here when you get back._

 

But now he was dead. Adam hadn’t been able to tell him how much he loved him.

 

_Shiro is gone._

 

 

* * *

 

Adam didn’t sleep that night – or maybe he did. He couldn’t tell anymore. The next few days passed in a surreal blur, a sort of in-between state of sleeping and waking in which Adam could feel nothing. He was barely aware of anything besides the deep ache that seemed to have settled permanently in his chest, digging out his heart to make its home.

 

The weeks passed in a monochrome of black and gray. Once upon a time, the world was painted with the lovely color of Takashi’s ocean-deep eyes, the lyrical sound of his twinkling laugh, the bright shine of that beautiful smile. But now, without Shiro, everything around Adam seemed to have lost its color, lost its voice, lost its meaning.

 

When Adam slept (or tried to, anyway) the spot beside him, once filled with Shiro’s reassuring form, was now cold and barren. He would reach out for Shiro in the dark, woken from the constant nightmares that now plagued his already-restless sleep, to find only air, cold and taunting and lifeless. He cried himself to sleep at night, tear-stained cheeks resting on a tear-damp pillow.

 

Everyone knew that the light was gone from his eyes, because _his_ light – Takashi – was gone from his _life_.

 

* * *

 

It was raining on the day that Adam received the news. Months had passed since the report of Shiro’s death, but the wound had never fully healed. Although Adam had accepted the fact that Takashi was gone – truly, undeniably _gone –_ he would never be rid of the pain that had settled into his bones.

 

Which was why, naturally, the confusion and hope and disbelief Adam felt when Sam Holt returned home alive and unharmed was utterly indescribable.

 

Sam told the Galaxy Garrison stories about a mythical weapon called Voltron and the fearsome Galra race that was threatening the Earth. If he was being honest, Adam barely heard any of it. When Sam returned to his room for some much-needed rest, Adam cornered him, eyes wide, breath caught in his throat. He barely dared to hope.

 

“Shiro,” he managed to gasp out. “Is he… is he alive?”

 

Sam’s reassuring smile was blinding when he patted Adam on the arm and said, “He’s coming home.”

 

* * *

 

It was raining on the day that Takashi came home.

 

The sky cried, its healing tears mingling with Adam’s disbelieving ones as the metallic lions descended from the clouds. Adam what was more miraculous; the sight of the alien warships appearing from the sky or the knowledge that Shiro was finally, finally home.

 

One by one, the pilots climbed through the doors and onto the ground below. Adam knew some of them from the Garrison – Lance, who’s eyes shone with joy and disbelief; Pidge, who ran to wrap her father in acrushing hug; Hunk, who’s smile lit up his whole face. A tall woman with long white hair stood next to a man with a comical orange mustache, both of whom Adam did not recognize. Then, the door to the black lion opened, and Keith Kogane stepped out.

 

Adam scanned the scene, searching, and then, out of the same lion, climbed a man. His hair was completely white, and a long scar wrapped around the bridge of his nose. His right arm was gone, replaced with a metal prosthetic that stopped here his forearm would be.

 

Tears welled in Adam’s eyes. He looked so _different_ – older, stronger, with a weariness that seemed to spread throughout his entire body – but those beautiful gray eyes were unmistakable.

 

_Takashi._

 

Shiro walked toward the gathered crowd, opening his mouth as if to speak, but stopped short when he saw Adam. Their eyes met, and for the briefest of moments, it felt as though time had stopped, as though they were the only two people in he world. Then Shiro surged forward, pushing though the crowd to get to him. He stopped, staring at Adam in disbelief.

 

Guilt, sudden and all-consuming, rushed over Adam. The last thing he had told Shiro was that he wouldn’t be there to wait for him.

 

_If you decide to go, don’t expect me to be here when you get back._

 

Would Takashi even still care for him?

 

Tears spilled down Adam’s cheeks. He had to tell him. He had to _know_.

 

“Takashi,” he said, voice soft and reverent, as if Shiro’s name was a sacred thing. He could barely look at him. Shame burned on his cheeks. “Oh, God. _Takashi._ I’m _so sorry_. I never should have said all that – never should have let you go.” Everyone was staring at them, but Adam didn’t care. “I was cruel and selfish and afraid of being hurt, but instead, I… I hurt _you_. And then I thought… I thought you were _dead_ , Shiro. They said you were gone, and for the past few months I could barely _live with myself_ because I thought that what I said that day would be the last thing I ever said to you. I didn’t even tell you how much I loved you. _Love_ you. And I understand that you probably don’t want me anymore, but God, I’m just _so glad you’re safe._ I missed you _so much_ , I don’t know what I would have done if--”

 

He was cut off as Shiro surged forward and pulled Adam to him. Their lips met, and for a moment, nothing else existed. The rain around them, the crowd of onlookers, even the impending war – none of that mattered. All that mattered was Takashi – that he was here and he was safe and he was in his arms. He tasted like rain and starlight and tears.

 

“It’s okay,” Shiro said when they finally parted, voice thick with tears. His smile was tearful and wobbly. “I love you too.”

 

Adam had the sensation that his heart was incredibly, indescribably _full_ , and he felt more complete than he’d ever been before.

 

He laughed, and the sound rang with joy and disbelief and the impossible feeling of finally being _home._

 

_* * *_

 

If there was anything that Adam had learned from the Garrison, it was that nothing broken couldn’t be fixed. So one by one, they’d pick up the pieces to fix their fractured hearts.

 

Because if there was one thing he was sure about, it was this: _Adam was never letting him go again._

 

 

 


End file.
